Ouran Highschool Host ClubFruits Basket Crossover
by lubluebell
Summary: When Honey Haninozuka of Ouran Academy meets Momiji Sohma while on a trip to the Sohma Hot Springs, the two become fast friends and decide to play a prank on their friends: they switch places! But their plan goes completely wrong (as expected,) and puts one question on everyone's lips: which boy is which?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Okay, Tama-Chan, you can let go now!" Honey giggled at a sobbing Tamaki, who was clutching Honey's tiny arm in sorrow.

"H-Honey!" Tamaki moaned. "Dear, s-sweet, naïve Honey! You don't know the dangers of the world! There are people out there who would eat a little boy like you up!"

"Tama-Chan, I'm _older_ than you!"

"Still, as your king, I know much, much more about this hazardous world than you do! Once, I even ventured all the way to a-"(Tamaki gulped, a look of supreme horror on his face), "Convenience store! It was awful! Men who looked like they wanted to hurt me were everywhere, and have I even mentioned the smells? The horror! I-"

"Tamaki,' Mori spoke as he laid a large, capable hand on Tamaki's shoulder. "Mitsukuni will be fine. He will only be gone for the day." "

Don't tell me _you're _not even going with him!" Tamaki cried, launching himself into Mori's arms while somehow still managing to hold on to Honey.

"Mitsukuni and I agreed that he needs to learn how to do things without me." Honey smiled and popped a sphere of orange candy into his mouth. Mori managed to pry Tamaki off of Honey's jacket, and turned to address him.

"Mitsukuni will be fine." Mori said gruffly. Tamaki gave one last lecture about the dangers of calling women with weapons 'Princess' before slithering away and sulking in his corner.

"Mitsukuni," Mori said softly. "You _will_ be fine, won't you?"

"Yup! I have Usu-Chan with me! But Takashi… I'll miss you…" Without a word, Mori scooped Honey into his arms and gave him a large, loving hug. When he set him down, Honey looked up into Mori's face, his eyes beginning to fill with tears. Tenderly, Mori smoothed Honey's hair back and, making sure Tamaki wasn't watching, kissed the small boy gently on the forehead. Just as Mori's lips lifted off of Honey's forehead, there was the loud sound of a horn honking.

"That's my bus!" Honey declared, gathering Usu-Chan and a small bag into his arms. "I'm off to the Sohma Hot Springs! Bye-Bye Takashi! Bye-Bye Tama-Chan!" With a cheery wave, Honey skipped out the doors of Ouran Academy and into the cheerful spring day. The sun beat warmly at his back as he crossed the beautiful Rose gardens and headed toward the large, sleek white van parked in the street beyond. As he boarded the vehicle, Honey was greeted by four others sitting around and chatting lightly.

"Why hello there!" A girl with long brown hair and smiling blue eyes greeted him warmly.

"Hi, my name is Honey and this is Usa-Chan!" Honey said, holding out Usa-Chan for all to see.

"You can go sit up front, Honey! There's more room up there and you don't have to listen to Kyo blabber on all about how he fought bears." A grinning boy who bore an uncanny resemblance to Honey invited.

"That's it, ya little punk!" A red-headed boy cried as he pounced on the smaller boy. Faint cries of "whaaaaaah, Kyo's hitting me!" Echoed through the back of the van.

Honey plopped into the passenger's seat next to a frantically apologizing woman and promptly fell asleep.

"That little boy was really cute!" Tohru exclaimed after the fighting had calmed down. "You know, he looked a lot like Momiji…"

"So you think I'm cute than, Tohru?" Momiji inquired.

"Well, of course!" Tohru responded brightly.

"Hear that?" Momiji demanded. "Tohru thinks I'm cute! Tohru thinks I'm cute! She thinks I'm cuter than either of _you_!" Kyo jumped up and Yuki looked away and blushed.

"Why would I care who she thinks is cute?!" Kyo demanded, edging ever closer to Momiji.

"Whaaaaaa, Kyo's scaring me!" Momiji whined, burying his face in Tohru's lap.

"Get off 'er, ya little runt!" Kyo roared, practically jumping on Momiji and Tohru. Tohru squealed and tried to remove Kyo from a crying Momiji. Yuki, hearing Tohru's cry, leapt into action and yanked Kyo and Momiji off, dispensing them onto the floor.

"_When_ will you two _ever_ grow up? Stupid Cat, jumping on a lady like that! Where are your manners? And Momiji, just please be quiet and sit down." Momiji did as he was told, (and only sniffling pitifully twice), took a seat across from Tohru.

"Yeah, Kyo, you pervert! Doing that to a lady!" Momiji chimed in after several minutes of silence; apparently realizing no one was noticing his tears. Kyo was in mid pounce when Yuki grabbed his collar and slammed him against the cheap metal wall, their noses almost touching.

"_I said stop." _There was something in the way Yuki's violet eyes flashed that made Kyo, if only for a moment, stare dumbstruck at him.

"G-get off me ya damn Rat!" Kyo demanded upon finding his voice. Yuki released Kyo, who glared murderously after him as he walked calmly away. As you can very well guess, the following thirty minutes were spent in silence.

Honey smiled softly in his sleep, his face a mask of pleasure.

"I wonder what he's dreaming about…" Shigure (whose eyes really should have been on the road) said softly to Ritsu.

"He does look happy," Ritsu replied thoughtfully, his lovely caramel eyes gazing down at Honey. The van began to drift slowly sideways as the two chatted idly about dreams.

"Once I had a dream where I married one of Tohru's little high school girl friends! It was odd, bur I enjoyed it because we-"

"SHIGURE THERES A TREE!" Ritsu shrieked, and Shigure snatched the wheel and veered sharply to the right, narrowly missing the offending tree but crashing roughly into another car, causing the van to nearly cave in. The van swayed precariously before emitting a large cloud of black smoke. "Oh dear! I'm so sorry! I distracted you! I don't deserve to live on this planet anymore! I-"

"Ritsu, I'll go check on the children. You make sure our visitor is alright." Ritsu nodded and Shigure leapt out of the van, his coat swirling in the smoke. He yanked open the door to the back seats and took a breath before looking in, afraid of what he could see. "Yuki?! Kyo?! Momiji?! Tohru?!" No response. Shigure hesitated before diving into the smoky entrails that, only moments before, were the back seats.

"Shigure…?" A voice cut through the smoke.

"Yes! Yuki? Thank goodness! I was afraid I was going to have to buy another passport and flee town!"

"Shigure you idiot," Yuki muttered.

"Is everybody alright?"

"Yes, we're fine…" Yuki replied, his face coming into view, quickly followed by Kyo, Tohru and Momiji. Kyo had a scrape on his cheek, Momiji was crying, and they all had a pretty bad cough, but they appeared to have no serious injuries.

"Excellent," Shigure exclaimed. "I was so worried about you children. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if one of you had been hurt because of me. Now, who wants ice cream?" Momiji, immediately forgetting that he was supposed to be crying, leapt on Shigure with a happy squeak. "I see Momiji would like some! Anyone else?" Kyo glared at the now grinning Shigure, Yuki shrugged impassively, and Tohru went on and on about how she couldn't possibly let Shigure pay for it.

"Wait, how are we supposed to get there when ya crashed the damn van?!" Kyo grumbled, his temper flaring.

"Well… I suppose we'll hitch-hike!" Shigure said a bit too happily.

Chapter Two


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, isn't this nice?" Shigure asked jollily.

"Peachy." Kyo muttered resentfully, his face twisted in rage. The car they had finally gotten to pick them up (after forty-nine minutes of waiting in the chilly autumn winds,) wasn't _exactly_ a luxury vehicle. In fact, Kyo had long ago begun to wonder if it was indeed _a _vehicle. The cheap, moldy "leather" interior was peeling and covered in mysterious stains, the driver was oddly hidden from view by a dark glass screen (the only part of the entire car that wasn't broken or stained.) The air inside the car stank of vomit and rotten fruit.

"Ah, I could go for some nice peach cake! Couldn't you Usa-Chan?" Asked Honey, who had woken up from his nap several minutes after Ritsu had tearfully proclaimed him dead.

"Yeah, we never got ice-cream either!" Momiji said mournfully.

"Come now Momiji, brighten up! We can have some ice cream once we get to the hot springs –which, by the way, shouldn't be too long now!" Shigure said temptingly, trying his best to keep Momiji's thought process on sweets so that he didn't complain about the putrid surroundings.

"May I have some ice cream?" Honey asked; his eyes widening at the thought of watching his new friends eat ice cream while he had none.

"Of course," Shigure replied. "Say, do my eyes deceive me or is that the Sohma Hot springs, right there, not far away at all. Why, we'll be there in no time." Honey and Momiji squealed with joy, as the car ride had been quite long and quite vile. As the car pulled up to the hot springs, the Sohmas and Honey practically leapt onto the pavement. The car pulled away faster than any of them thought it was capable of, reaching a mind-blowing speed of nearly fifteen miles per hour.  
"Oh, so now it goes fast! I swear it was only going like ten miles per hour all the way up here! Unbelievable!"

"Yes, we definitely would have saved a good bit of time if it had gone the speed it's going now, however we shouldn't complain about the driver if he was kind enough to pick us up!" Shigure argued, mysteriously bent on defending the faceless driver. Just as Kyo opened his mouth to reply, a robed figure came hurtling across the lawn.

"Mother!" Ritsu cried as the woman ran to embrace him.

"Ritsu, my child!" The woman screeched, practically knocking Ritsu over as she leapt upon him. "I've missed you so! How was your week at the Sohma's?!"  
"Very good, mother! We did so many fun activities," Ritsu proclaimed. Shigure snickered, his perverted mind up to its usual tricks.

"And this must be the guest you spoke of! The one who read about this place by chance and decided to come here! The one who doesn't know about the family curse-"

"Shouldn't you be preparing food?" Shigure asked hastily.

"Oh my… OH YES! I SHOULD BE PREPARING FOOD! I'M SO SORRY! I'M A MAR IN THE HUMAN RACE! I ALMOST GAVE AWAY THE SECRET!"

"Secret?" Honey asked innocently before anyone could feed him some bogus story.

"Ah, yes Honey… The secret is that… Yuki and Kyo here are homo-sexual! We often refer to it as 'the secret', or 'the curse'." Shigure said smoothly.

"WHAT?!" Yuki and Kyo demanded in unison.

"They're just embarrassed, _right guys?_" Shigure inquired, praying they wouldn't spoil the story he was feeding Honey. Yuki and Kyo glared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before they responded.

"Yes…" Yuki said quietly, speaking for them both. "Kyo and I… Came out of the closet several years back and we've been in a happy relationship ever since…"

"C'mon silly-heads, I knew that from the moment I saw you!" Honey giggled. Kyo turned a shade of scarlet greatly resembling an angry tomato before turning away and storming into the house. Yuki simply sighed.

"It's alright Yuki, it's really good that you and Kyo aren't afraid to show who you really are. My mom always used to say to be yourself. She would be proud of you two! If you and Kyo have feelings for each other, then I'm happy for you!" Tohru declared, attempting to make Yuki feel better about himself.

"Miss Honda…" Yuki whispered, realizing Shigure had most likely just destroyed any future Tohru and he could have together.

"Yes?" She asked brightly. Yuki couldn't bring himself to speak, so he simply followed Kyo's example and fled into the house.

"Ooh, I wonder what those two scoundrels are doing in there! Flirting? Holding hands? _Smooching?" _Momiji made a kissing sound. Tohru blushed and Shigure turned his laughter into a long, suspicious cough.

"MASTER SHIGURE?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! COME INSIDE, OUT OF THE CHILL! I SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE YOU ALL WAIT IN THE COLD! I'M SORRY!"

"I… I think I'll make it inside… Maybe" Shigure whimpered pitifully, becoming mysteriously ill. "Perhaps" (He coughed loudly) "I'll feel better if you were to… Say, make me some nice rice balls… it's the only way to cure me."

"OF COURSE MASTER SHIGURE!" Ritsu's mother cried, dashing indoors with the others following soon after.

"So are you liking the Sohma Hot Springs so far Honey?" Momiji asked as he led Honey to the hot spring.

"It's great! I wish I could live here with you and my other new friends forever and ever," came Honey's reply as he sunk into the soothing depths of the hot spring.

"Hey, your life sounds pretty nice! I mean, you're rich, and you get to talk to pretty girls for a living!"

"Yeah, it's great!" Honey exclaimed, his face immediately lighting up like a light-bulb.

"Sounds like it! I wish _I_ had your life… Hey, Honey! I have a really great idea!"

"Yeah?"

"What if we were to, like, switch places, only for like, a week or two! You could get to know everyone better, and I could try my hand at being a host! It'd be really fun, and we can see if anybody would figure it out!"

"Well… okay! But, Takashi will be picking me up at sunset. Is that enough time to figure out what how we'll do it?"

"Oh, sure, if we hurry a little bit! I'll start!"

"Okay!"

"Alright, so there's something you should know. My family has a curse on it, so when we're hugged by someone that's a member of the opposite sex, we transform into animals of the Chinese Zodiac! Pretty nifty, huh? I'm a rabbit, Shigure is a dog, Yuki is a rat, Kyo is a cat, and Ritsu is a monkey, and so on."

"Wow, really! That's so neat!" Momiji gave Honey a sideward glance.

"You think it's... Neat?"

"Totally! Not everyone has a family secret, ya know. I think it's cool!"

"Well," Momiji said, bursting with pride, "I think it is too! Not everyone does though" (Momiji thought of his Mother), "that's why we need to keep it a secret! Promise you won't tell?"

"I promise," Honey said solemnly. "I'm real good at keeping secrets! Like, this one time, I was playing hide-and-seek with Takashi, so I hid in a closet. And it turns out it was Hika-Chan and Kau-Chan's closet. And I looked through the cracks in the door and saw them kissing! It was scary! But I haven't told anyone."

"Who are they?"

"Oh, my friends! Wow, I really do have a lot to tell you! Okay, where to start, where to start… Well, my favorite color is yellow!"

Chapter Three


End file.
